With every passing day, my life seems to get more and more complicated. I know that I'm probably drastically overthinking things... but I just can't help it. As sand continues to fall without fail into the other half of the glass, I can't help but to feel sad, reasons being that I feel as if I'm wasting time. I keep on dwelling on my decisions and keep on letting opportunities pass me by. I've let several people, in which I care deeply about, slip through my fingers because I was too scared to do anything about it. Damn my overthinging brain.
I think what I need is a vacation. A time that I can just escape from all of my problems and possibly find some romance with someone who has never met me before. I would simply be myself. If we fell in love, I would know that it was real. for he would love me for me, and not who I've been trying to be. I am a good person. I am a kind person. I am a passionate person, who only deserves the best. my mom tells me this when I'm feeling down (:
I'm making a pact. Right here. Right now.----> Be me. Be the best I can be. Love as I would like to be loved. Be a friend a friend would like to have.<---- I'll live by it, pass it down to my children, and hopefully be a better person for it. I will NOT let another moment pass me by, and I will live each day as if it were my last. This is a fool- proof plan for today could indeed be my last, and I have to make EVERYDAY count. tick. tick. tick. the sand is still falling.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
**DAMN IT BOOMER!**
Alright.. so... my life just got a tad more complicated. I've started to look at another friend in a different way. This is just so weird to me. Can you see why it's complicated? Two friends... two separate crushes. This isn't good. HELP ME!
P.S. title of blog has NO relevance (: it just makes Mitch happy to hear it (:
P.S. title of blog has NO relevance (: it just makes Mitch happy to hear it (:
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
*damn it*
Alright, so today a new bestie of mine met -him-. She seems to think that these feeling are mutual, purely based on our.... BODY LANGUAGE! The flirting is unbarable...FUN, but I'm not sure how much longer I can just keep on flirting... I want more. I need more.
Yes, so. today, I managed to get myself into a pretty akward position (): This all started with a freeby pen, an exposed arm, and a major desire to write on people's skin. So... here is what happened... I (being the noob that I am) decided that it would be a fun idea to write on -his- exposed arm. I missed. so I tried again... he started fighting back... we had a pen war, and I ended up getting pen on his neck (: (damn I'm good with a pen :P ) The war was over..... or so it had seemed... but... sneak attack! He grabs me, basically bear hugs me (I went with it) and my friend yells "Oh why don't you two just make out already!" Ugh. I was so embarassed! Oh well!OH! And later, I managed to get some red pen on my cheek... thanks to an outside source. (: Him and I then went outside together to look at a smashed up car (it was accident awareness day today) and we I came back in I went up to my friend and asked her if I had any red on my cheek (her being oblivious to the fact that I had gotten pen on it earlier) it blew me away... she responded with " What did he kiss you" (: BAHA. yes.. because he wears lipstick right? :P
Alright... so... that's wasn't totally akward... but it was strange nonetheless...And I liked it (: XD
UGH. Semi Formal was going to be my chance. We'd dance, we'd laugh, we'd have an unforgettable time... but... topple, topple, boom... my plans came crashing down on me. My friend was doing some investigating... and found out that he probably isn't going to it. Well... there may be hope yet. So... maybe he says that he's not going to it... atm... but I bet I could talk him into it... I'm pretty presuasive ;)
A part of me hopes that all of this passes, but a very large part of me is telling me not to let this one go ♥ This is so confusing... and all that I have to say... is... Damn It!
Yes, so. today, I managed to get myself into a pretty akward position (): This all started with a freeby pen, an exposed arm, and a major desire to write on people's skin. So... here is what happened... I (being the noob that I am) decided that it would be a fun idea to write on -his- exposed arm. I missed. so I tried again... he started fighting back... we had a pen war, and I ended up getting pen on his neck (: (damn I'm good with a pen :P ) The war was over..... or so it had seemed... but... sneak attack! He grabs me, basically bear hugs me (I went with it) and my friend yells "Oh why don't you two just make out already!" Ugh. I was so embarassed! Oh well!OH! And later, I managed to get some red pen on my cheek... thanks to an outside source. (: Him and I then went outside together to look at a smashed up car (it was accident awareness day today) and we I came back in I went up to my friend and asked her if I had any red on my cheek (her being oblivious to the fact that I had gotten pen on it earlier) it blew me away... she responded with " What did he kiss you" (: BAHA. yes.. because he wears lipstick right? :P
Alright... so... that's wasn't totally akward... but it was strange nonetheless...And I liked it (: XD
UGH. Semi Formal was going to be my chance. We'd dance, we'd laugh, we'd have an unforgettable time... but... topple, topple, boom... my plans came crashing down on me. My friend was doing some investigating... and found out that he probably isn't going to it. Well... there may be hope yet. So... maybe he says that he's not going to it... atm... but I bet I could talk him into it... I'm pretty presuasive ;)
A part of me hopes that all of this passes, but a very large part of me is telling me not to let this one go ♥ This is so confusing... and all that I have to say... is... Damn It!
Monday, October 6, 2008
*might just be in love *
Alright, so here it goes.
So it seems as if I've fallen in love with one of my best friends. His name is not to be mentioned. This fondness has seemed to grown dramatically in the last few months or so, and I'm really not quite sure what I should do about it. On one hand, all of my other friends tell me to dive in; go for it. They all approve. On the other hand. He is such an amazing friend and I would be devastated if I were to lose him as a friend.
Lately it seems that I can't get him out of my mind, even the littlest things are now reminding me of him. This is getting harder to cope with day after day. I love that I've fallen for him, but I hate the fact that he has no clue, and the fact that I don't even know if he feels the same about me. I've been told that by the way that he acts around me, there may be a chance that he does, but I've been hurt and wrong about people in the past, and I have no intention of doing it again. Yes, they say love is about taking risks, but at the same time, I don't want to get the short end of the stick with this one. I'd much rather have him as just a good friend, than not have him at all. So, my friend told me that (even before I told her about my crush) she thought that there was something there between us. She told me, that when him and I are together, our body language gives it away. HA! Body language is a bitch (:
So.. In less than six weeks, our school's annual semi formal is coming up. I've been told that I am to ask him to go with me. Have I mentioned that I'm EXTREMELY chickenshit and would just about have a heart attack if I even was walking over to him to ask him to go?! Well...now you know. (:
I'm not really sure what I'm going to do about these feelings yet. Should I tell him? Let him find out on his own? Investigate his feelings first? Or just leave it to fate? This is what is on my mind... It is indeed driving me mental, and I have to do something about it...FAST. What I do though, is still undecided... but I know that what ever I decide, I will have no regrets and hope to god that it was the right thing to do.
So...Until next time, I'm Syd' and I might just be in love..<3
So it seems as if I've fallen in love with one of my best friends. His name is not to be mentioned. This fondness has seemed to grown dramatically in the last few months or so, and I'm really not quite sure what I should do about it. On one hand, all of my other friends tell me to dive in; go for it. They all approve. On the other hand. He is such an amazing friend and I would be devastated if I were to lose him as a friend.
Lately it seems that I can't get him out of my mind, even the littlest things are now reminding me of him. This is getting harder to cope with day after day. I love that I've fallen for him, but I hate the fact that he has no clue, and the fact that I don't even know if he feels the same about me. I've been told that by the way that he acts around me, there may be a chance that he does, but I've been hurt and wrong about people in the past, and I have no intention of doing it again. Yes, they say love is about taking risks, but at the same time, I don't want to get the short end of the stick with this one. I'd much rather have him as just a good friend, than not have him at all. So, my friend told me that (even before I told her about my crush) she thought that there was something there between us. She told me, that when him and I are together, our body language gives it away. HA! Body language is a bitch (:
So.. In less than six weeks, our school's annual semi formal is coming up. I've been told that I am to ask him to go with me. Have I mentioned that I'm EXTREMELY chickenshit and would just about have a heart attack if I even was walking over to him to ask him to go?! Well...now you know. (:
I'm not really sure what I'm going to do about these feelings yet. Should I tell him? Let him find out on his own? Investigate his feelings first? Or just leave it to fate? This is what is on my mind... It is indeed driving me mental, and I have to do something about it...FAST. What I do though, is still undecided... but I know that what ever I decide, I will have no regrets and hope to god that it was the right thing to do.
So...Until next time, I'm Syd' and I might just be in love..<3
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